By Kavya Thathsarani 

You know that stage when your heart starts racing every time your situationship texts "hey"? When your brain basically turns into a dopamine smoothie and you forget to eat because you're too busy thinking about them? Yeah, that's not just a vibe...that's biochemistry. Welcome to the realm of a Passionate Lover. 

This is the kind of love that hits like espresso shots and late-night playlists. It's wild, intoxicating, and a little unhinged (in the best way possible). Passionate lovers live for that electric connection...the exhilaration, the unquenchable desire, and the total preoccupation with the person.

Dopamine floods your brain, giving you that euphoric high... the same chemical rush you get from eating chocolate! It's all heart palpitations, obsession, and sometimes manic energy that makes you feel alive. But that fire doesn't burn forever. Studies say that this type of love tends to wear off after a year to 18 months, once your brain decides to stop living in a romantic fever dream. 

Then there's the other side, which is the Compassionate Lover. This is the definition of a slow-burn romance...the kind that grows like ivy, not fireworks. This type of love is softer and steadier. It's way less chaotic because it's built on deep trust, dependability, and most importantly, the comfort of knowing your person gets you. Compassionate lovers are the kind who bring soup when you're sick, stay by your side through hard conversations, and love you the same even when you've been bedridden for days. Such affection is not the 'butterflies' kind of love, but the calm after the butterflies. If passionate love is a shot of tequila, compassionate love is a glass of red wine...delicious and meant to be savoured.  

Let's admit, both types of love have their own magic. While passion makes you feel alive, compassion makes you feel safe. The first one sparks while the second one sustains. Most long-term relationships actually evolve from passionate to compassionate love. That's just how our brain and hormones work. Once the initial dopamine storm cools off, the oxytocin (which is the cuddle chemical) takes over, building connection and deep trust. Your body shifts from “I want to devour you” to “I want to build a life with you.”

Some people chase the thrill of passionate love over and over. They tend to give up on their partners once the passionate love period is over. There are also people who crave the quiet comfort of compassion from day one. Neither is better. It just depends on what chapter of love you're in, and both partners should be ready to accept the changes, work through them, and find the right balance as a team (it's called a couple for a reason!).

Just to complicate things a little (because love is never simple), there's also playful love. The flirtatious, fun, non-serious type that thrives on teasing and spontaneity. And pragmatic love, which is more grounded and practical, like, "I love you, but also, do you fit into my five-year plan?" These may not sound poetic, but they're real and part of how people connect today. Especially in the era of soft launching relationships and sharing your situationship status on close friends’ stories. 

So...are you a passionate lover who thrives on chaos and chemistry, or a compassionate one who's in it for the emotional depth and stability? Maybe you're a little bit of both...a "passionately compassionate" lover (yes, that's a thing).

Whatever your love language, whether it's dopamine–fuelled or oxytocin–soaked, the best kind of love is the one that makes you feel both seen and alive. Because at the end of the day, love isn't supposed to just make your heart race...it's supposed to make it rest, too.