How to be a good listener

Jul 01 2025.

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By Kavya Thathsarani

Everyone is always yapping, oversharing on stories, ranting in group chats, sending voice notes like they are podcasting from the trenches. But you know what's seriously rare these days? Someone who actually listens. This is not about the fake "omg fr" listeners or the ones waiting for their turn to trauma-dump. It's about the people who lock in when you speak. Who catch the little things and remember the name of that one girl from that one situation you swore you were over but really weren't. 

Yeah...that kind of listener. They are the real MVPs of friendship. They are the ride-or-dies. The people who show up, come through, or simply make life better and lighter.

Listening is not just sitting there with glazed eyes while your friend vents about something that happened in 2020. It's being present and giving "I'm here for you even if I don't get it, but I'll try" energy. It's staying off your phone, nodding at the right moments, and not making the situation about you. Showing up and being there for your friends, makes them feel heard, validated, and cared for, and this is the secret for maintaining healthy friendships. 

We romanticise handwritten letters and sunset drives, but what about the friend who hears the shake in your voice and goes, "Wait, are you okay?" mid-conversation? That's intimacy... the softer form of care. In the way they listen, remember small things you mention, and be with you through highs and lows. That friend will forever hold a special place in your heart!

Being heard hits different
The truth is, half of the time, we are not looking for advice. We are not trying to be fixed. We just want someone to share our storms with. For someone to say, "That must have been really tough," and mean it. A good listener makes you feel like you are not dramatic, or yapping too much. They make your world feel a little less heavy, just by being in it. When you find someone like that, you keep them close because that's not just another friend. That's a safe place, your comfort person you turn to every single time you feel like there’s a lot going on in your life. 

Listeners are emotionally fluent, and that's the kind of energy we adore 
Have you ever talked to someone who gets whatever you say? Who doesn't interrupt, doesn't one-up you, or doesn't throw unsolicited advice like podcast therapy? They are just there with you, listening to you patiently, and that's not boring. That's emotional intelligence at its finest. Listeners read the room like poetry, and you can't feign something that. It's built with empathy and genuine care for others. 

Those are the people you trust when life gets loud. Not the person with the loudest voice in the room, but the one who stays with you after the noise. And they are the best kind of people. 

Less drama, more depth
Friendship fallouts usually happen when people don't feel heard, like their feelings are brushed aside. Misunderstandings, assumptions, the classic "you didn't even ask how I was" spiral. But when you are someone who actually listens, so much of that fades away because they feel cared for and loved when they are around you. 

People are of all types. Some people like to keep it to themselves, some like to share it with others to make it less heavy. But when they feel heard and safe around you, they open up more. When trust grows and drama dies down, peace settles in. And just like that, the bond feels unbreakable. It's giving "this friendship actually has roots."

Listening is the new love language 
Being a good listener is how you show up for people in the everyday. It's how you say "I see you" or "I hear you" without actually saying it. It's the friend who remembers you always skip onions in your meals, the one who texts after a rough day, the one who notices when you are quiet and asks why.

Those little things are everything. They are what makes someone feel safe, seen, and not so alone in this chaotic little world. 

So, here's your reminder...talk less, listen better (it's a power). Be the person who you would want to listen to your yapping. In this world where everyone's trying to be loud, be the person who makes your friend feel heard and seen. Not because it looks cool but because it is cool.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kavya Thathsarani

Kavya Thathsarani, a Lyceum International School graduate with a background in Bio-Science, weaves science with storytelling. Her passions for writing, journalism, and psychology fuel her work in medical storytelling and raising awareness.


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