By Panchali Illankoon
Pictures by Pradeep Dilrukshana

There’s not a soul in the Colombo theatre scene that’s not heard of good old ‘Freddy’. Since 2016, ‘Freddy’ has taken life in many forms – from mishaps in the operating theatre, involvements in bank robberies or just pure, leave-you-in-stiches standup comedy, Freddy was anywhere and everywhere.

This October, playwright Feroze Kamardeen returns with “Freddy: The Sketch Show” featuring seven irrationally rational short plays inspired by the quirky classic British comedy and pulled together by a stellar cast of six playing multiple roles; Nirren Neydorff, Chamat Arambewela, Shazad Synon, Kovindu De Seram, Dhehara Waidyasekera and Dilini Perera.

Ahead of the show, we sat down with the wonderfully absurd characters themselves to uncover just what mischief awaits the audience at Freddy: The Sketch Show.

FLY IN THE SOUP

A fine-dining restaurant where the motto is "Zufriedenheit oder Tod," meaning "Satisfaction or Death” faces a serious complaint from a customer. Featuring Chamat Arambewela as Feldwebel Dietrich, Shazad Synon as the Oberstabsfeldwebel and Kovindu De Seram as the Customer.

Question for the Oberstabsfeldwebel: “You are the manager of this fine establishment and I hear your restaurant operates with military precision. What do you think is wrong with the restaurant industry these days?”

A: “As the Oberstabsfeldwebel of this fine dining restaurant, I take great pride in ensuring that, we are not just providing you a meal in line with your expectations but that your whole dining experience be delivered with precision and efficiency. What is wrong with the restaurant industry is also what is wrong with our world. Too little
precision, too little accountability. Our restaurant prides itself on many things. Our egg timers work on seconds not minutes. Our table water is served to the precise temperature our valued patron requires. From 50 degrees Fahrenheit all the way to 200! Our meals arrive at the table at precisely the time the waiter states. We do not use
phrases like “The food will be here shortly” “I will return soon” We say “Your food, Herr Customer will arrive in 21 minutes and 40 seconds”

Question for the Customer: “Well then, in this instance is the motto ‘the customer is always right’ a fairly accurate statement in your opinion?”

A: “Of course! And whenever I have any dispute or disagreement with any establishment, irrespective of what the circumstances are, I, as the paying customer, am always right. It does not matter who or what caused the dispute, I
should always be right. Do I get tired of being right all the time? Not at all. In fact, being right even when I am wrong, would be considered one of my strong points!”

THE OPERATION THEATRE

Mrs. Woodbury anxiously waits outside an operating theatre for her husband, Thomas, who has been inside for seven hours for a simple bunion surgery. The only problem? The staff doesnt know who Thomas is! Featuring Dilini Perera as Mrs. Woodbury, Nirren Neydorff as the Doctor and Dhehara Waidyasekera as the nurse.

Question for Mrs. Woodbury: “Ma’am, just how risky did the hospital say a bunion surgery can get, really?”

A: “Apparently according to the highly skilled surgeon who I met, bunion surgeries can get very complicated especially in instances where the patient may have a fully functioning liver! I do hope Thomas will survive this. It was very nice of the Doctor to call the Mortician himself. And organize a senior citizen discount for the entire package! The Nurse, however seemed extremely disinterested in the whole process and I shall be filing a complaint”

Question for the Doctor: “You’re a doctor with many years of experience - some might even say too many, but do you think your patients benefit more from all your wisdom…or suffer more from your own handwriting?”

A: “You’d be surprised how often people call me a doctor and I think to myself, “are they talking to me?” My wisdom is has been accumulated over years of painstakingly shoddy surgical work and hours and hours of excruciating
paperwork designed to extricate myself from possible legal implications. My handwriting is considered to be immaculate, my sight, may not be, as we say, perfect. This is not a problem in modern surgery because I believe most surgical cases brought to me are pretty much hopeless. I give my patients at least a glimmer of hope”

MASTERMIND

A self-proclaimed mystic, Archibald Malone, is the final contestant on the classic British quiz show Mastermind. Featuring Nirren Neydorff as Archibald, Chamat Arambewela as the Quizmaster and Shazad Synon as Jonathan Bunkport.

Question for Archibald: “Mr. Malone, I hear your specialty is answering the question even before its asked. Should I even bother asking you the questions…or do you already know?”

A: “Yes. You are right. That would be the best course of action. I know that you are already thinking’ ‘this chap is not going to give me a proper answer’ so whichever answer I give will not matter to you anyway. You will think it silly either way”

MYSTIC MARRIAGE SERVICES AND RETURN TO SENDER

From “I do” to “I don’t,” Archibald Malone and his brother Humphrey Malone (Nirren Neydorff) guides the couple Johnathan Bunkport (Shazad Synon) and Sheila Woolsey (Dhehara Waidyasekera) through the absurdities of love, destiny, and everything in between — with hilarious results.

Question for the Jonathan and Sheila: “Congratulations on your upcoming marriage…and your inevitable divorce. Are you happy with what the mystic marriage service had to offer you?”

Jonathan: “I think Mr. Malone is really great! I first met him on Mastermind. He won and then I realized that he can actually see into the future. Imagine my luck when I found out he ran a marriage service and we happened to be getting married. This is great. Sheila had to tell our previous wedding planner that we’ve found a new one!
Things between me and Sheila are a bit rocky at the moment but Mr. Malone has assured us that this will only last three more days!”

Sheila: “Jonathan always does stuff like this! Finds someone and replaces something that was working well. There was nothing wrong with the wedding planning. But Jonny insisted we go to see Mr. Malone and now we have to stick with him I guess’

Question for Humphrey Malone: “What a lovely and convenient business you and your brother run. And business seems to be blooming! What’s in trend right now - the ‘I Do’ ceremonies or the ‘I Don’t’ ceremonies?”

A: “Yes, when the day that you have always dreamed of since the Honeymoon ended, the day that you can find true peace and happiness, we, at Mystic Divorce Planners have got you covered! Attention to the finest details including the look of hatred and loathing on our custom-made cake toppers put us ahead in the “Sayonara forever” business”

THE BANK ROBBERY

A hapless thief (Kovindu De Seram) attempts to rob a bank and finds himself buried in red tape when he’s intercepted by the bank’s cheerful and helpful Assistant Manager (Dilini Perera) who only has eyes on her next promotion.

Question for the Assistant Manager: “I hear you are gunning for your next promotion. Would signing a robber as customer be considered a noteworthy achievement in your performance review?”

A: “Yes, the promotion will be coming through anytime now. Of course, it was my first robbery but lucky for me I had attended the workshop on “Handling Robberies” and was up to date with all the banks policies and guidelines. This
enabled me to process the transaction in the specified time despite receiving little or no support from the Robber! I must also point out that signing him as a customer was not something I was aiming for but I am happy I was able to!”

Question for the Robber: “Guess it’s true that Banks are all about their red tape, huh? In your firsthand experience, would you say the real crime is the theft or just how long it takes to fill out all the paperwork?”

A: “Honestly, I tell you. The paperwork these days! It’s brutal! This was supposed to be just an in and out. At least that’s what Freddy told me! He was waiting in the car for me and then when I got late, he went to grab a cup of tea and things went pretty much downhill from there! I do feel that there are too many questions the banks are asking us these days. Pretty soon, normal bank robbers like me will just be out of business. And let me tell you, when that day comes, those banks will miss us…yes they will! Banks will be putting ads asking “please come in and rob us a bit” but it will be too late. All the decent robbers will be gone”

If you are a fan of sharp wit, absurd comedy and British-style humour, Freddy: The Sketch Show is not to be missed! The Sketch Show is directed by Feroze Kamardeen, produced by Ashan Munasinghe and presented by StageLight; Magic Inc.

9-12 th October 2025 | 7.30 pm onwards | Lionel Wendt Theatre
Box Plan and tickets are now available. For more information on the Box Plan and
to buy tickets, visit www.stagelightandmagic.com/freddy-the-sketch-show