Someone had to say it

The past week was brought to you by high price tags, questionable priorities, and the occasional glimmer of common sense. We found out buying a car here is basically a luxury sport, a family in the south turned “love triangle” into a literal assault, and Sri Lanka Railways finally did something that might actually save our elephants. Let’s get into it.

Sri Lanka: Cars for the Rich, Potholes for the Rest

Congratulations, Sri Lanka. We officially ranked as the third most expensive place on Earth to buy a car in 2021, and things haven’t got any better. The World Bank’s Vehicle Price Level Index puts us at a score of 175, meaning our prices are nearly double the global average. Only Singapore and the Maldives beat us, but at least they have trains, ferries, and buses that don’t feel like medieval torture devices.

Here? We’ve got crumbling roads, unreliable buses, and tuk-tuks that double as rollercoasters. Between import duties that could fund a small country and policies that make “affordable” sound like a myth, owning a car here isn’t just transportation, it’s a generational achievement. Families don’t sell their cars; they pass them down like antique jewellery.

For the rest of us, it’s public transport roulette, praying the next bus isn’t full, or perfecting the art of pretending we wanted to walk in this heat.

Last Word: In Sri Lanka, a car isn’t something you buy, it’s something you inherit, insure, and guard like a national treasure.

Love, Sri Lankan Style

If you thought Sri Lanka’s dating drama peaked with messy breakups and cryptic Instagram captions, think again. Down in Akuressa, a 19-year-old man found himself abducted, tied to a concrete post, and assaulted by not one, not two, but five members of the same family.

Why? A love affair. Or rather, a love disaster. Police say the victim and a 24-year-old suspect once worked together, and let’s just say their history didn’t age well. On August 9, the young man was allegedly snatched off the street by the suspect, his parents, and two siblings. What followed was less “talk it out” and more “community theatre production of Taken.”

When the victim’s mother showed up to rescue her son, she got assaulted too. Residents begged the family to stop, but apparently, nothing says “we’re reasonable people” like ignoring your neighbours while keeping a boy tied up in front of your house.

Police eventually stepped in, freed the victim, and took him and his mother to the hospital. All five family members are now in custody. Somewhere in there is a cautionary tale about love, revenge, and how not to handle your interpersonal disputes.

Last Word: If your idea of conflict resolution involves a concrete post, maybe the real problem isn’t the relationship, it’s you.

Sri Lanka’s Elephants Finally Get a Heads-Up

In a rare win for both wildlife and common sense, Sri Lanka Railways has started installing solar-powered cameras to keep elephants from becoming train-track statistics. The system runs 24/7, feeding footage to a GPS-based alert network that pings the main railway operations centre in Anuradhapura whenever an elephant is spotted near the tracks.

From there, train drivers get real-time warnings so they can slow down or stop before tragedy strikes. It’s simple, it’s smart, and it’s powered by the sun, which, unlike most of our policies, never goes on strike.

Each camera costs about Rs. 20,000 to install, and the Railway GM has already put out a call for donors so the system can be expanded to more elephant-heavy areas. If it works, we might finally stop pretending elephant deaths on the tracks are just “unfortunate accidents” instead of totally preventable tragedies.

Last Word: When saving elephants costs less than a fancy phone, the real question is why we didn’t do this years ago. 

Until next week, dodge the potholes, skip the kidnappings, and maybe fund a camera or two for the elephants - Rihaab