Jul 01 2016.
views 248When You’ve Been Single for Too Long
When you’ve been single for a year, it’s different to you being single for three years; likewise, the number of years, months, or weeks, impact ‘how single you have become’ and ‘how single you can be’. Don’t understand the last phrase? Let me explain.
There was a time when my ideal cuppa had to have three teaspoons of sugar; one night I decided that I wanted to quit overuse of sugar and stopped it altogether. There were days when I didn't have my tea because I just couldn't bear to down this acrid tasting liquid. But then after a few weeks I adapted, and now I can only have sugarless tea. If by chance someone offered me a cookie, Marie biscuit, or a piece of jaggery to complement my tea, I would still refuse it because I’ve gotten so used to the lack of external sweetness that I preferred it that way. In the same way, when I am offered less or close what I want in a man, I wouldn’t care because I’ve been single for so long that I prefer it that way.
I just heaved a heavy sigh. Not because I am sad or anything, I just reminded myself of cookies.
There are things you need to know about a girl who has been single for a long time, especially if you are the guy who wants to play her or ask her out. Contrary to popular belief, single women who've remained that way for longer periods of time (and I am not talking about two weeks) are not weaklings who would jump at every opportunity to pair up.
I’m certain there is far more than this, but I’ve you covered on the basics. You are welcome, guys.
1) She Has Cried. A Lot.
She may have lost weeks of her life because she's just sobbed into a pillow or if she is like me wiped out a tray of Chunky Choc in minutes and has had people ask her if she is wearing pink eyeshadow because her eyes are raw from wiping tears. But, she has healed on her own. She may or may not have had friends to get her through this time, but, she has got there. These experiences will help her wade through a multitude of losers from A*sville, and also help friends who may be going through similar situations.
2) Rejection? No Problem.
She has been rejected and she has rejected others; what people don’t understand about girls who’ve been single for so long is their ‘grace’ to accept rejection. It’s not something to be ashamed of, the better you are at accepting this fact, the better you have dealt with it. They come to understand that one person rejecting them doesn't mean the end of the world, and don't lose their identity.
3) She Has Hobbies
A girl who spent the equivalent of 5 hours on WhatsApp conversations, 2 hours on calls, and 3 hours in person with her boyfriend a day will naturally have a lot of time. Some revert to old hobbies while some develop new ones. She will find absolute calm as she engages in them. This blog was means of venting when Boyfriend 3 did a runner three years ago, I can’t even begin to explain the happiness I derive from this to date.
4) She Has Friends
When you've been single you forge lasting friendships and renew old ones. You really know who is in for the long haul. Some only satiate their craving for gossip and thrive on seeing others in ruination, while others allow you to down 100ml of Black Label neat at two in the afternoon to tranquilize you. (You know who you are).
5) She’s A B*tch
If being a bitch meant saying ‘no’ when you need to, to socialize with fake friends, car-sex, heavy mid-week partying, hooking up with an Ex, and other forms of false pretenses, then so be it. When you’ve been single long, the only sugar coating you care for is the liberal one on your doughnuts. You’ve been messed around with, but no longer.
6) Self-Defense
She stands up for herself; emotionally and physically. It’s because you’ve lost faith that one person who was supposed to represent these two elements is less real that that candy house in Hansel and Gretel. People might wonder why she’s a tad more aggressive than she’s supposed to be, but this is what being single does, it sharpens the blunt.
7) She Works Towards Her Goals
And she smashes all of them. Sometimes these aren’t public as that Instagram wh*re’s nudes, but they are very real.
8) Self-Appreciation
She spends her money on herself and her friends – and there’s nothing more rewarding than finally buying a pair of shoes you’ve been coveting for a long time. That way, no waste-of-breath guy could claim that he’s ‘given you your first lap of luxury’.
9) Dating Isn’t Everything
When she’s been single for too long, she knows that being dateless on a Friday night isn't everything. Completing an entire season of ‘2 Broke Girls' on a weekend is. Even when she gets asked out, she will tactfully conjure her exit out of the WhatsApp group called ‘Friday Booze Out' for some much-appreciated movie nights.
10) The Converts
Contrary to popular belief, the single girl will have amazing married friends who stand by her decision to remain single and not settle. If there is even a hint of ridicule in public, these friends would come to her defense; ‘Let’s face it, she’s got the better deal – weekends mean sleeping for her’. #Score
11) Sex
Whether the single girl is in the midst of the Gobi desert or the lush Amazon in this area is completely at her discretion. Women who’ve been single break both stereotypes that frown on if you’re single your nether region is like a highway or you’re building cobwebs downstairs.
12) Mellowed Muses
Any 21-year-olds' dream is to acquire a ‘hot' guy; when she's been single for a while ‘looks' are superficial in comparison to what else she has on her list. Cute guys aren’t a goal anymore; her goals are more realistic and long-term now.
There you go! 12 things you need to know about a girl who’s been single for too long – got anyone in mind? Is this the story of your life? Go ahead and hit the ‘share’ button and compare notes!
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By Ms. Confidential
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