Someone had to say it

The past week was a reminder that in Sri Lanka, accountability is more performance art than practice. Arrested politicians head straight to hospital beds, and their colleagues rush to courtrooms and hospitals like it’s a family reunion. The public? Still waiting for that kind of care. Let’s get into it.

Sri Lanka’s Most Reliable Check-Up: Getting Arrested

In Sri Lanka, some things are as predictable as the sunrise. A politician gets arrested, they’re sent to remand, and within hours - surprise, surprise - they’re in a hospital bed. Chest pains, mystery ailments, sudden collapses… take your pick.

It’s practically a national script at this point. Courtroom one minute, ECG machine the next. And somehow, these “life-threatening conditions” only appear the moment handcuffs do. Ordinary citizens wait weeks for a bed in a government hospital, but for politicians, an arrest is basically the fast pass to a full medical team and a private ward.

And it’s not just about avoiding prison food. A hospital stay buys time, sympathy, and occasionally, a convenient memory lapse or two. Justice gets delayed. Headlines shift. By the time they’re “recovered,” the whole story feels old already.

Last Word: For Sri Lankan politicians, prison is optional. Hospital, mandatory.

Politicians: United We Stand… But Only for Each Other

And while some are busy turning remand into a health retreat, the rest of the political class is making sure no comrade suffers alone. The Colombo Fort Magistrates Court looked more like a VIP lounge than a place of justice, with politicians from across parties showing up to support one of their own.

The hypocrisy writes itself. A tweet said it best - no such solidarity was seen for victims of the Easter Attacks. Or during the 2022 economic collapse. Or during any of the countless crises that wrecked the lives of ordinary citizens. But when one of their own faces legal trouble? Suddenly, unity, loyalty, and “family values” appear out of thin air.

Last Word: In Sri Lankan politics, the only crisis that gets a united front is when one of them gets caught.

Postal Strike: Signed, Sealed, but Definitely Not Fingerprinted

Postal workers were on strike for days, demanding overdue allowances and protesting a new policy that requires mandatory fingerprinting. The Postal Department wasn’t amused. Officials warned employees that if they don’t report to work, they’ll be considered to have “voluntarily abandoned” their jobs. And just to really twist the knife, the Treasury said no work means no pay. 

But the detail that got me? The fingerprints. Out of all the issues, the hill some workers have chosen to die on is the simple act of pressing a thumb to a scanner. In a country where you can’t even collect a parcel without going through multiple processes, the idea that fingerprinting is suddenly a dealbreaker is… poetic.

And why? Because once the machines come in, the little “creative accounting” of overtime hours goes out the window. No more clocking out early while the sheet says otherwise. No more mystery allowances. Just clean, digital proof of who worked when, and suddenly, it’s not so popular.

Last Word: When your biggest demand is “let us keep faking overtime,” don’t be surprised if sympathy mail gets lost in transit.

Until next week, stay sharp, stay salty, and remember: some scripts only work because we keep watching.
Rihaab