#NoFilter : The Approaching Game
It is with great disappointment that I pen these words and ask you most sincerely - Why have you stopped approaching us? Gone or on its way out are the years when boys/men were brave enough to approach a girl they fancied and ask them their name (and have a basic conversation). Are you so afraid of rejection? Worried that your friends would laugh at you if you were snubbed off? Honestly what is it that holds back single men from approaching single girls?
Yes, I have come to understand and accept that times have changed. Women I admit have become a little ruthless in their manner of turning you down. BUT that is mostly because we have had so many freaks approaching us or you have really rubbed us the wrong way (at a later discussion).
However, when it comes to the approaching game, CONFIDENCE is key. Thus after having consulted many ladies, I have broken down the dynamics just for you nice guys out there.
How You Should Approach Us: A Guide
Boys, the steps are very simple…
1. The right eye game
If you’re within a good measure of eye contact, do make it and if she does not give you the stinky look then you have silent pass to physically approach.
The problem - It a little difficult to measure the eye contact level and sometimes under a low lighting you can’t even tell if she even looked at you.
Warning – Don’t gawk!
All this doesn’t matter if she isn’t facing you in the first place, which is why I recommend – Approach.
2. Understand the setting
(a) If she is with a bunch of lady friends, then chances are they want to have a girls night ONLY. Therefore there is a chance of getting a few cold replies. But play with the odds, and don’t think too much about it.
(b) If she is with members of the both sexes, please be observant as to whether either one of them could be her boyfriend (this is when the eye contact thing is of the utmost use), a brawl with a boyfriend really wouldn’t be the best way to impress anyone.
(c) If she’s alone never assume that she is dying for company and will welcome you with her arms wide open. This is probably the time she is on her guard the most, so you will still have to approach with tact.
(d) If she’s with (only) a lady friend, chances are she wouldn’t want to leave her alone and start focusing only on you. A wing-man is recommended to curb the situation, failing which ensure to include both of them in your conversation but obviously approach the one you’re interested in first.
3. Conversation
No need to take it too fast. A simple ‘hey/hello/hi’ would do. If she smiles politely and says hey/hello/hi back then your good.
The second line should be on the lines of how are you? or how’s it going? (Don’t forget to smile boys – not too big but just right). The most common answers have been I’m ok, I’m good or worse it’s not so great. It’s going good to its going ok to the worse being its going bad.
Point is if there is an answer and no brush off, then off to the final demarcating step of (TRUMPETS)
INTRODUCE YOURSELF!
Give her your name, add it with a “oh and my name is …” or “by the way I am …”. Take it a step further and extend your hand, a good hand shake reminds us of a time where men were defined by the word Gentleman.
Venues
Gentleman, keep in mind these venues in particular.
Restaurant/Bar
That 1 – 2 – 3 steps I recommended should be adhered.
Do not – make drunkenly conversation with her. If you are high keep to yourself. #Seriously.
Tip – if she is with another friend, acknowledge her and speak to her politely. Ignoring the friend will not help you score brownie points.
Hint – If she is eating some food, do not make statements regarding the portion of food on her table.
Club
If she is on the floor busting some (your) eye catching moves and you wish to share a dance with her.
WALK towards her, catch her eye and then get her attention and ask her. Use a line like “Hey you dance really well. Can I have the next dance?”
Do NOT – Come dancing towards her and assume she wants to join you in your mating call.
And - If she agrees to dance with you do not assume she wants to make children with you on the dance floor.
Do NOT– Grab any part of her body and attempt to do the 2-become-1 dance.
Bottom line – This isn’t a solid and certified victorious route for you. There is a slight chance that even with the above said tact you are bound to be rejected by your target. I admit us women are a little complicated but understand that it might be her (if she is being downright frosty – maybe she is having a bad day? if she politely declines you – maybe she has a boyfriend or is getting over someone?) and not you. Either way (please) do not get disheartened and retreat forever.
Consider another catch… after all there are plenty of fish in the sea.
By S.A Hamid
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