Break Up Blues

Nov 23 2018.

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As much as we think you owe it to your partner to break up face to face, us depraved souls - albeit secretly - are totally thankful that you choose to break up via texts and notes. Thanks to social media, privacy has become a thing of the past and ex couples certainly don’t hold back when getting down and dirty for the world to see. Bowing out gracefully, it seems, is for wimps. And courtesy, totally overrated. 

Break ups happen for many reasons: S.O. (significant other) called you bae. S.O. pronounced it "cold-slaw". S.O. disrespected your cat. S.O. didn't dig your swag. In case you were wondering, these actually happened. You can't make this stuff up. 

The list below is full of downright hilarious and sometimes brutal yet deserving break up texts, notes and yes, even billboards – while you’re at it, might as well go all out!

1. Break ups blow. But hey – at least you got a pizza out of it. And pizza makes everything better. 

2. We’re guessing Michael won’t be thinking about a joint account with Jessica anytime soon. If ever.

3. Ouch! Sucks to be you,Babe :P

4. Busting a window would probably have driven the point home. But we’re not complaining.
We like your style tho, wife of Dave! 

5. Proof that sadly, common sense isn’t all that common. 

6. That time Johnny played with death, and lived to tell the tale.

7. That’s one helluva transformation, bro!

8. Might as well mend that broken heart with cake.

9. When in doubt, ALWAYS draw a Giraffe. Always.

10.Aww, how cu.... Wait.

11. Ignorance is bliss. Or maybe not.

12. When it’s all kinds of awkward. 

13. Sarah Palin. Enough said.

14. The calm before the storm.

15. Sorry Bobo, we can’t argue with that. Being rude to the cat is unacceptable.

16. All’s fair in love and… games.


Rihaab Mowlana

Rihaab Mowlana is a journalist specializing in feature writing. With a commitment to authenticity and a genuine love for her craft, she brings stories to life by delving deep into captivating subjects and offering unique perspectives. Beyond journalism, Rihaab is a content creator, entrepreneur, and educator. Stay connected with Rihaab on Twitter & Instagram: @rihaabmowlana


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