As parents we concentrate our entire focus on making sure our child achieves exemplary scholastic grades. From the numerous self help classes that we carter them to and our own involvement in the subject material, we are determined to produce little geniuses. Whilst we were investing so much of our time in their educational abilities have we given thought to what personal values they have learnt. Children are like balls of playdough, in their  infancy state you can meld and mold them and that also includes instilling in them important life values such as honesty, respect, self discipline and courage to name a few.

Sometimes we dismiss the process of teaching children these all important values because we feel that they are too young to understand the complexities of it all. But in creating an all rounded individual it’s never too early. Teaching values is not like teaching math’s, it is not clear cut or straight forward. With the distraction of emotions, the intricacies of the problem, values can sometimes be the most difficult subject to teach to a child. Your home values might be different from general societies’ expectations, how do you explain that to the confused child. It is difficult, but not impossible, after all children are intrinsically good, they just need to be taught the correct path to take in life’s journeys. Here are some key important values, that we as parents must strive to teach our children:

1. Telling the truth: This is a very difficult value for kids, initially to grasp. Instinctively they might feel that fibbing about eating the last sweetie before dinner etc is too tempting a lie to commit, it is after all a harmless fib. But a lie is a lie, and as the parent you should not tolerate it on the depth of it. Also children learn a lot from example and thus you must stick to the principles that you preach and taking cues, never sort of say “Let’s not tell Dad we had ice-cream this afternoon” however innocent the deception is, to a child’s maturity that amounts to a lie and if a parent can do it so can they. Do not be alarmed and overreact when your child does lie to you, it will happen several times, help them work through it, explain the consequences and be firm in the punishment.

2. Justice: Children love to play, but they also love to fight. Squabbles amongst siblings or friends are eminent, one might push the other, break the others toys, destroy the build castle. Of course every parent’s reaction is to stop the wrongdoer, tell them to identify what they have done wrong and to apologize. This only lets the child off temporarily, get them also to see what they can do to rectify the problem caused further. Help build the broken castle, give back the taken toy. Etc.

3. Determination: Determination and the strength to grow from that is a very important characteristic to develop in a child from an early age. It can developed with praising your child correctly. We are led to believe that praise develops confidence in a child, which is true, but excessive praise can just cause the child to not really try hard at anything, for they know they are going to get rewards anyways. So be vigilant about your rewards, encourage your child to pursue something that they find difficult, praise sufficiently along the way, this gives birth to proper determination.

4. Consideration and love: The most successful human being is one that is considerate to others and from that stems love for all. Being considerate to others is sometimes a tricky value to teach. A good example is, say your children are squabbling whilst doing the shopping trip, tell them I would like all of us to do the shopping without fights and me getting upset. In this way you are showing your discomfort and teaching them to attune to that. From being considerate to others stems love, The love and affection that we so profusely flow on our children will quite easily be reciprocated on to others, so show them love.

As a parent I want my children to be successful in life. But I feel whatever life’s ambitions they pursue, if they are honest, kind and considerate, then my job has been fruitful for these are what true successful people are built off.

By Mayuri Jayasinghe