Do you hate playing with your kids?

You can call me a bad mother, roll your eyes with disdain or cluck with exasperation at my following statement, I do not enjoy playing with my children. I offer no apologizes or luke warm excuses. This is the truth of the matter. When I hear those six chillingly words “Mummy will you play with me”, my heart drops and I immediately feel my whole body deactivating. You can excuse my behaviour I guess, for having had four kids, I have attended many an imaginary tea party, spent oodles of hours eye spying or run copious rounds in the garden with some pesky ball. “Ahhh” you say that’s her problem, too many children. But really parents look deep within your souls, I am not questioning the love you have for your children, it's simple do you really enjoy being all bent double on the living room floor pretending to be a bridge whilst they climb over you. I feel like I have better things to do.

Of course as the default parent at home I usually am the one who gets cajoled by some five year into a situation I where I end up wearing a paper crown and making conversation with a Barbie doll. I apparently have got the short end of this beautiful parenting stick as my husband gleefully skips off to something called work. “HELP ME, save me from the children”, is every stay at home mother’s silent scream for help. The “playing” never stops mind you, the same games are played everyday. But hey I’m not a spoil sport, I can attend numerous princesses tea parties as long as I can snooze in the corner or be a Ben Ten monster who maybe checks her e-mails as her secret weapon or always be the audience rather than the pseudo actor in any impromptu children’s play.

According to experts, imaginative play in children as well as physical play is an essential component in every child’s childhood. The ability to dream, conjure, role play allows children to grow mentally. By engaging in imaginative play they are experimenting with decision making on how to behave and also practicing their social skills. When talking to their stuffed teddies, children are improving their speech and listening skills. Throughout the day children will be absorbing their surroundings and processing them in their heads, and with their limited capacity to understand at that age their toys are the perfect sounding board.

Therefore with dread I look towards the summer, it is the start of summer holidays in our household and all those well meaning friends and relatives who constantly promised me baby sitting visits when the children had more free time have vanished into thin air, quite like my good humour. Thus I have to face the inevitable, Princess Barbie are I are going to be bosom buddies and I am Spiderman’s new damsel in distress. Parents, we all have to play with our children, hate it or love it, here are some ways to make it less demanding on our souls:

1. Always put a time limit of how long you play. Say “ Mummy can only play for ten minutes”. In this way you are starting to introduce them to the concept of time and also not losing your sanity with endless hours of imaginary tea with teddy.

2. Try and introduce new games to play every few hours. Deviate from craft making to imaginary tea parties to a refreshing game of hide and seek, this will keep your child entertained as well as yourself.

3. Introduce as much as outdoor play as possible, healthy for the child and some mild exercise will do you no harm. It will also lighten frazzled temperaments after being coupled up in a hot house all day.

4. Organize playdates with other children and mummies. What children do well is play together and this will take a lot of the burden off yourself to keep your children entertained.

5. Do not forget to give those summer camps a try. After the business of the school year, the thought of an endless summer is delightful. This feeling will also last a couple of days, the children will be bored and needling you for entertainment. A whole summer of that is worse than the most terrible of school years. Therefore give the summer camps a chance, they will keep your children thoroughly engrossed.
I am realistic in my parenting, I do not offer rose tinted, cotton wool cushioned opinions. The reality screams  that parenting is not fun all the time, saying this I do not love my children any less I just do not enjoy the endless rounds of pretend playing. Of course as some of the children get older, their interests become my interests and I look forward to an afternoon spent with my older daughter doing girly things. Till then save me that shady spot on the pinstripe cushion next to Disco Barbie I’m on to my fifth cup of watery tea and counting the minutes down to the next pretend play event. HELP!

By Mayuri Jayasinghe