By Lughadarini Yogaraja 

In Sri Lanka, weddings are the ultimate show. The glittering sarees, the ceremonies, the cake structures taller than your little cousins set the stage; marriage here is more than just a union, it's a production. Families beam with pride, neighbours gossip about the guest list, and social media explodes with hashtags and drone shots.

However, beneath the confetti and chandeliers, there’s a quieter story about young people pushed into marriage before they’re ready, and the truth is, while the pressure to say “yes” can feel cultural, romantic, or simply expected, the long-term effects aren’t nearly as glamorous as the wedding album.

We all know the drill. By your early 20s, everyone from the friendly auntie at the kade to your office colleague asks the same question: “When are you getting married?” Say you’re not ready, and eyebrows raise higher than the cost of gold bangles.

The problem? Marriage, when rushed, comes with baggage no honeymoon can fix. Research across South Asia shows that child and early marriage is still a serious issue. Imagine being asked to plan your future before you’ve even figured out your own taste in music, let alone your career. That’s what this pressure feels like, and it’s no surprise it brings serious side effects.

The stress of trying to meet expectations can leave you exhausted, anxious, and constantly second-guessing yourself. Over time, this pressure can chip away at your confidence, your sense of identity, and your happiness, turning what should be one of life’s happiest chapters into a constant balancing act.

For young brides especially, the risks are real. Girls who marry young face a higher chance of complicated pregnancies, and those under 18 are five times more likely to die giving birth compared to women in their 20s. Babies born to these young mothers? They’re 60% more likely to die in their first year. That's a heavy reality check. It’s not just about physical health. Marriage before you’re ready can mess with your mental well-being, too. Add in the stress of controlling partners or domestic violence, and suddenly that “dream wedding” can spiral into a nightmare.

Marriage under pressure doesn’t just affect health; it steals opportunities. Many young women (and men!) give up higher education, careers, and travel plans because they’re told marriage comes first. Instead of exploring who they are, they’re suddenly expected to juggle in-laws, household duties, and children.

Redefining “Happily Ever After”

So, what’s the fix? It’s not about rejecting marriage altogether; it's about reclaiming the right to choose. The right time, the right partner, the right life. Think of it this way: marriage should be the upgrade pack to a life you already love, not a patch to fix one you don’t.

Good things come to those who wait, and yes, that includes love. Rushing into marriage is like eating kottu before it’s properly cooked: messy, stressful, and ultimately unsatisfying. When you give yourself time, you get to know yourself, chase your dreams, and figure out what really makes your heart sing. And here’s the secret- love tends to show up when you’re busy living your best life.

Whether it’s meeting someone over a shared cup of tea at a mall, or maybe love is just following God’s plan, showing up when you’re at your temple, mosque, kovil, or church, and you least expect it, like a divine plot twist straight out of a rom-com!. Taking your time means you attract partners who appreciate the real you, not the person society thinks you should be

The next time someone asks, “When are you getting married?” smile, sip your tea, and say, “When I’m ready.” After all, life isn’t a wedding race. It’s your story, and you deserve to write it on your own timeline.