By Sanuthi Herath

In today’s world, the definition of family has truly evolved and continues to do so. Once confined strictly to bloodlines and legal ties, the idea of what family can be has expanded to include something deeply personal yet increasingly universal: the "chosen family". These are the groups of people we deliberately work to surround ourselves with - friends, mentors, colleagues, partners, neighbours - who provide the love, comfort, stability, guidance, and support we may not always find within our biological families.

The concept isn’t new. Communities on the margins - such as orphans, immigrants, or those estranged from relatives - have long relied on chosen families to meet emotional and practical needs. What is new is the mainstream recognition of these bonds as equally valuable, sometimes even more sustainable than traditional structures, given the negative sides in history.

Psychologists note that chosen families often emerge out of desperate situations and necessity. For some, it’s about filling gaps left by strained, neglectful, or abusive relationships at home. For others, it’s about creating a circle that reflects shared values, lifestyles, or identities. Unlike a traditional family, these bonds are built on intentionality: each member chooses to stay, invest, build, and nurture the connection by their will alone. That mutual choice often makes the ties feel more affirming and unbiased, no blood right to pull a leash.

Social media and digital platforms have accelerated this rise, allowing people to find like-minded communities across cities and continents. Support groups, gaming servers, dating apps, and even group chats can grow into chosen families that celebrate milestones, cherish relationships, provide guidance, and show up in times of crisis and despair.

The cultural impact is becoming visible too. From TV shows that highlight “friend-family” dynamics to wedding guest lists filled with best friends instead of distant relatives, chosen families are shaping the way we think about love, loyalty, and legacy. Many young people now speak of “Friendsgiving” dinners as family events, symbols of how care networks are diversifying and amplifying.

Of course, chosen families don’t replace all traditional ties; that isn’t their purpose. Nor are they free from conflict. We are all human, with flaws after all. But for many, they offer a lifeline, a hand to grasp: a reminder that family is not just something you are born into, but something you can create, love, and share with the people your tender heart deserves.

As society continues to shift, perhaps the old proverb deserves an update. Instead of “blood is thicker than water,” today’s generation seems to live by: “love is thicker than everything else.”