I’m nervous, scared, slight palpitations fleeting run across my heart and I’m slowly starting to find it hard to breathe. I’ve got my diapers in a twist because, Mummy dearest, my one love said she was just going to the kitchen and it’s been a whole five minutes and I don’t think she’s coming back. Right, time to start screaming blue murder! After bellowing as loudly as I could, Mother darling comes rushing in, ahh there she is, now all is right with the world once more. Palpitations halted, tears wiped, warm and fuzzy feelings all around. 

Lately I must say it’s been happening a lot, I might be quite peacefully pushing my truck in the grass or watching Elmo on TV or even chewing on Teddy in my cot and then it sudden dawns on me like a horrible nightmare unfolding, like a car crash in slow motion, like watching in shock and horror as Big Sister eats all the sweeties and you’re strapped in this godforsaken baby chair and you just can’t get out, it’s sadness, it’s dread, it’s the fact that Mummy’s gone missing, she is not in my line of vision which means that she’s lost and I’m never seeing her AGAIN. Though Mummy doesn’t stay lost forever, and I have noticed that if I shout and scream loud enough she does always come back and very quickly at that. I mean if Mother dearest is not around what would happen to me, I could fall, I could get hurt, I am vulnerable, anything could go wrong. Mum needs to be there always, that’s the end of it, there’s no negotiating Mater dear, there’s no I’ll be back in five minutes, or I’m just off to do a pee pee or Dad’s here, he’ll look after you, WHAAT! That’s my point! Dad’s here, he won’t look after us, I mean do you really want a repeat of what happened the last time you left me with Just Dad? That was your prized makeup kit and your newly covered velveteen couch!!! Lipstick and mascara make funny patterns. One of Mummy’s so called know it all friends says I’m going through something called stranger anxiety and I’ll be over it soon, yeah whatever you say lady, Mum’s not leaving my side for the next 40 years or so. I live to be a Mummy’s boy! 

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What Is Stranger Anxiety In Babies? 

Stranger anxiety is a form of distress that children experience when exposed to people unfamiliar to them. Symptoms may include: getting quiet and staring at the stranger, verbally protesting by cries or other vocalizations, and hiding behind a parent. Stranger anxiety is a typical part of the developmental sequence that most children experience. 

How does it occur? 

As a newborn, your baby has no sense of himself as an individual: He thinks that the two of you are one and doesn't realize that the tiny hands and feet waving before him are his own. Over time, though, as your growing baby develops physically and mentally, he'll gradually figure out that he's his own little person, with his own body, thoughts, and feelings. Your baby's sense of individuality will take years to develop. At around 6 or 7 months, your baby begins to realize that he's separate from you and that you can leave him alone. This is when separation anxiety usually kicks in, and it can last well into the second year. 

What happens when stranger anxiety kicks in? 

At around 7 months your baby will realize that he's independent of you. While this is an exciting cognitive milestone, this new understanding of separateness can make him anxious. He knows that you can leave him, but he doesn't know that you'll always come back, so he's likely to burst into tears when you leave, even for a minute. Resist the urge to sneak away when his back is turned – when you leave him at daycare, for example. It won't help him cope, and it may just make him more afraid that you aren't coming back. Hard as it can be, say goodbye and go while he's watching. 

By Mayuri Jayasinghe